When I was a child, one day I forgot to take my satchel to school. I didn't notice it was missing minutes before school started and when I finally did notice I was initially thinking someone made fun of me and hid it. Suddenly though the realisation hit me.
The worst thing was, that my teacher made me go home to get it. I can still feel the shame today thinking about it. Girlfriend called me to remind me to pick her up for dinner with her mom on her birthday. I was really excited to go, and happy I had a girl that wanted me to meet her family. I felt really good about that and man did I need it on this day. I had 2 people quit coincidentally on the same day both to start their own ventures.
I was really happy for them, but at the same time really jealous. I had long thought about starting my own thing, having that freedom to do what I want. Am I afraid because I am comfortable in this job? What would the business be in and do I have the soft skills outside of just development to make a business work? I remembered someone I admired in the business was always hilarious and he referenced it as a way of keeping employees and getting clients. It takes a lot of effort to get audiences the world over to believe that the fate of the universe should be entrusted to a talking tree and a sarcastic raccoon.
First of all, you can't just jump straight into it – you've got build up to it. Begin with a story of the repentant millionaire playboy who builds an iron suit with a nuclear heart from a box of scraps in a cave. Toss in a super soldier thawed from ice after 70 years. How about a magic hammer man from space, or the turncoat Russian spy who loses her accent real quick? Wife has an appointment the later in the week and kid has been sick so asks me if I can work from home if he has to miss school that day. That morning, get up, get ready, drive to train, get to work, sit down and wife texts me why I'm not at home.
I had completely forgotten to check with her and went through my normal routine. So, I pack up, head back down to the subway and start heading home. Get on train, pull out a book and start reading. After a while, I glance up and don't recognize the buildings around me and realize that I had gotten on one train too early and was on the wrong line. Get off train at first station, run downstairs and back up the other side, figure out a transfer I've never had to do before, make the switch and barely get home in time for her to leave.
Realize that I'm not focusing well that day and decide to spend more time with the kid than on work. I decided I definitely needed some comfort food with my newfound self reflection. As I got in the car I fired up a new comedy podcast my friend was making and it really was hilarious. I was bummed I didn't have his talent in timing and making these jokes happen and kept thinking about how it was a bridge for a lot of social situations. Are people laughing at me or with me?
When I get home I decide making some pasta will be the comfort food I need, and I am not going to be shy with the cheese. As I often do, I jump right into pajamas, start cooking, and pondering my thoughts for the day on starting my own business and my lack of comedy. I'm not a professor but I had a really dumb, or I guess ignorant classmate. He also asks teachers inappropriate questions that you shouldn't bring up, like he asked a teacher if she ever had a fake ID and then did drugs and that kind of stuff. He also plays sports sobbed relying on sport scholarships for college, he said his parents will pay for everything including his food and such when he moves out or rents a dorm at college.
He's just a failure of a person that puts minimal effort into life. It took everyone else in the room to convince her that people actually live like that in some places. Scroll down to read through our list of hilarious and dumb injuries, and be sure to upvote the stories you enjoyed. If the stories made you smile or laugh, why not share them with a few buddies to improve their mood while they wait for the weekend? And if you have any experience with dumb injuries yourselves, share what happened with everybody in the comments!
Be sure to scroll down for Bored Panda's in-depth interview with Ricky Cobb, the founder of Super 70s Sports. Every St Patrick's day in San Antonio they dye the river green. I work hospitality and I had a middle age woman asking me if she could drink the water from the River. I laughed thinking it was a joke but she was really serious about it and got mad saying I was being condescending. I told her no, you should not drink that water and she said that since there was green beer she thought the river could be beer.
I reminded her there are ducks living there and I don't think the city wanted drunk ducks going around downtown. She called corporate saying I insulted her. Someone giving their one month old infant a bottle full of juice and water because her mother said to.
Also denying the professional nutritionist that told her that's bad for a baby. Another baby, under one year old, who's mom puts soda in a bottle because the baby likes it. I don't think people realize how actually life threatening it is to give their own children these things. And the fact that they don't put an ounce of research into what they give their kids, or listen to the professionals telling them what their doing is wrong, just makes me so angry. The first speech in that class is just a simple narrative speech. She had a freshman tell the class about a time he helped his boss in high school kidnap the boss's child after he had lost a custody battle.
The student clearly thought the story would make him look cool and badass. There was a,,, troubled kid I went to high-school with. He struggled with school but had friends but was starting to do drugs and go down a bad way. He decided to photo copy the front and back side of a 20 dollar bill, cut it out of normal paper, and glue the two half's with Elmer's glue.
Whats even more sad is that to test his new money he went to the gas station and bought some gum and it ACTUALLY WORKED?!? So in his mind it must have meant that it was fool proof. So he then tried to go and deposit the glued up money at an actual bank. He was obviously found out and arrested. I don't know where he is now but I'm assuming he is making similar life choices.
I locked my purse with my keys and cell phone in my apartment. I went to the office to ask maintenance to let me in. The woman at the desk said she would call maintenance and asked for a phone number they could reach me at.
I said there wasn't one because my cell phone was locked in my apartment. I said I could give her the number but that I wouldn't be able to answer if they called. She suggested I get my phone out of my apartment so that I could answer when they called.
I rolled my eyes at her and said if I could get in my apartment to get my cell phone I wouldn't need maintenance to let me in. But maintenance did show up ten minutes later. I was 15, on a solo trip that was supposed to start in Puerto Rico and head down the windward Caribbean isles to Trinidad .
I was camping at a place called The Baths on Virgin Gorda, BVI. It was not then the hotbed of tourism it is today and I'd go a few days between seeing other humans. I lived on peanut butter, oatmeal, coconuts , and about 1 fish every other day.
I was exploring the amazing huge granite boulders and at one point I jumped in to a crevice where I saw water splashing in. It was only after I got in that I learned it was much deeper than I had assumed. The passage I had hoped I would find was much to tiny to get through and the ledge I'd jumped off of was not only above my head, it was covered with sharp-edged barnacles. I didn't panic but I knew I was in trouble. But I saw a little bit if light coming out from under a rock. I dove under it and came up into a hollow that had been scoured out by wind and water about 3 m across and was able to come out onto the light colored stone and dive off.
It was 2-3 days before anyone happened to stop by. I realized afterwards that had I not stumbled across that exit I would have faced a very difficult and bloodying climb or died of hypothermia or dehydration. I had been very lucky and very stupid. One time I had a bad weather day at school.
That morning was fine, I woke up late and was happy to have a day off. Then that night at about 11 O-Clock I put my shoes on, grabbed my back pack and prepared to leave when I realized that I didn't have school that day and I never had school at 11 PM. One of my favorite ones while working at a small grocery store; On saturday we always had a deal for customers to get 1 selected item for free with a coupon that came with the newspaper. Ofcourse if the product ran out, we would try to replace it with a similar-priced item. Continues ranting "AND SOME OF US HAVE WORK TILL 4.30!" Yes sir I understand but we can't change that, we ran out so we offer the other item." "I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR MANAGER! " Called the assistant manager, told her what's up, she goes to the guy, still ranting and says "Sir, either take the other free product or leave.
We can't give something that we don't have in stock anymore." I can think of one from my time at working at Petco. A lady called saying that her labrador was throwing up blood, and "do you guys sell a pill that stops this?
That job scared me with the amount of people that were totally clueless on how to raise animals and yet had small children. My mother says he could get lost in a paper bag. He got lost one day walking home from high school. Our house was on the same street as the school; it was a straight walk and a route he'd taken twice a day for years. He walked out the school doors and turned right instead of left. It took him an hour to realize he' was lost.
We realized he'd inherited my father's sense of direction. There's nothing like other people messing up to make us forget all of our mistakes for a moment, right, dear Pandas? Scroll down, upvote your fave pics, and if you feel brave, let us know what the stupidest things you've ever done were! You can check out our earlier articles about stupid people doing stupid stuff here and here.
Oh, and here's the coronavirus edition of dumb people acting dumb. City girl here; born and raised in San Francisco. I went hiking in Yosemite and a baby bear came walking through a crowd of people wanting to get to the falls for water. I looked at the friends I was with and said, "Let's get out of here; if Mama Bear comes, this is going to be bears McDonalds".
A guy in front turned and looked at me and said "You means that's not a full grown bear"! I'm not a professor, but my roommate freshman year of college was pretty dumb. We were at a private liberal arts university, and part of our frosh seminar class was attending one of the "deans' lectures" and writing a paper about it.
She decided not to attend any of the deans' lectures. They posted the videos of the lectures online, and people who didn't physically attend could watch one and write the paper for 90% credit or so. She elected not to watch anything, just pick a title of one and write about it.
Not a professor, but a high school math teacher. I had a student who answered a FaceTime call during the final exam. I just took her phone, told the person on the other end "Not a smart idea" and hung up on him. I was invigilating a 2hr exam once where students had been given very strong hints about the two essay questions beforehand.
A student bustled-in making an incredible racket an hour late. Handed his completed essays in 10 minutes later, written on completely different paper to the stuff given out during the exam, and smirked and waved to everyone as he left. The student appealed the score, threatened the department head when the 0% was upheld, and was expelled.
I experienced something similar, but in France. We were a group of French students from several different schools. Had studied French all throughout High School.
Our trip was to spend a couple of weeks with host families and then go on as a group to Paris. While we were staying with the French families, we got together for some excursion. We shared stories of how things were going with our host families. All the stories were positive except for one girl.
